Sony Cybershot DSC W380 Sample Shots!

Recently, I bought the Sony Cybershot DSC W380 with G-Lens Digital Camera. I got the exact color as in the picture above. It was sold for around PHP 14,000. But I paid PHP 15,000 all in all for I bought additional SD Card for extra storage. I haven’t really made a review about this camera. Although I’d still not be making a review of the Sony Cybershot DSC W380 Digital Camera for now. What I’m show casing here are some shots I took using this camera.

Most of the photos you’ll find were taken while I was inside the plane. I also took some photos of what I ordered at a local restaurant yesterday.All photos were taken at 14 Megapixel. You can click on the photos to enlarge them..

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So I went Shopping!

I went shopping yesterday, bought some stuffs and ate chowking’s halo-halo and Siopao, putting a hole in my pocket. But I’m a woman and shopping is like a best friend and there’s like some orgasmic thrill in shopping. It makes one feel good. lol :)

What’s inside my shopping bag?

For Health and Beauty
1. Ponds Age Miracle Dual Eye Therapy UV – P 499.00
2. Ponds Acne Expert Pore Conditioning Toner – P75.00
3. Blue Nail Polish –P28.00
4. Facial /Make-upSponge – P8.00
5. Sachets of Shampoo –P15.00
6. Soap Bar –P78.00
7. Feminine Napkins and liners P75.00




Fashion and Style
8. T-shirt/Blouse – P495.00
9. Accessories/Bracelets - P350.00


Tech Stuff
9. Sony PS2 Optical Mouse P- 400.00
10. Penguin Designed Mouse Pad – P100.00

All in all I spent more or less two thousand pesos (P2,000) excluding what I paid for my snacks. It’s a big amount for a single day. So that means, I’ll have to limit my future expenses and try to stretch the smallest budget to last a little longer.

By the way, I will be giving my review on Ponds Age Miracle Dual Eye Therapy after 7 days of usage. I will also give you a review on a popular whitening cream and age defying cream in my next posts..

Watch Twilight Saga Eclipse Online Free | Twilight Saga Eclipse

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Got My Braces!

I know! I know... I was too lazy to update this blog... Piles of work just came my way.. the "to do" list was just too long. So anyway, last April, I had my braces installed. Braces aren't that cool but they're not bad either. I don't have crooked teeth or bad bite (overbite, underbite). It's just that I have gaps in between my teeth that must be closed. When I smile, the gap gets kinda obvious so braces is a must. Plus I have molars that are not perfectly aligned when I bite so these have to be fixed too. I have pink braces, just like the one in the photo above, but that's not me. I just wanna show you how the pink braces look like. At the end of this month, I'll get blue braces or orange red color.

At first, it's awkward having braces. When I close my mouth (after I smile) my lips tend to get entangled with my braces. But I'm used to it now. Pain??? Yes there's a little pain after the installation which lasted for 3 days to 5 days. But the pain was very bearable. There is only pain when you touch your teeth or when you eat.. No pain at all when talking or just closing your mouth. Occasionally I get slight pain though. This happens when the teeth move but pretty bearable so there's nothing to be scared of.

According to my Orthodentist, we are still at the alignment stage. But I can already see huge difference. So I'm happy with having my braces.

I'm in a hurry so I can't give you much details about braces, but you can always ask questions via the comment form.

Till next..

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Battling with Boredom and Idleness

I woke up today feeling better but still tensed. I had 1 slice of papaya and 2 pieces of banana plus coffee for breakfast. I am on a diet trying to look better and healthier after I gained 6 kilos the past months. Seeing myself squeezed on my favorite jeans is a poison to my eyes... one of the reasons I'd wish there were no mirrors invented..lol. What about the ugly feeling of being choked waist down to my legs, and not being able to breathe freely. Ughh! What a pain! I might be vain but we all are don't we? There are only a few things in life we could control and that includes looking and feeling good, or at least trying to look your best. It benefits everyone, except for your enemies perhaps. hahaha! Oops! I just laughed..that's a lot better. But on second thought, we laugh the hardest when we are at our weakest or loneliest.. :( whatever!

As you can notice, I'm writing again. Anything goes as I write considering the situation I am in. I just want to kill the slightest hue of boredom. Boredom and me are old time foes. We hate each other. When boredom strikes everything is just magnified- the pain, the agony, the worries. Thus, I barricade myself with the best forms of diversion. I also make sure my armory of "to do things" are full. I won't throw the white flag.. No, I will not rest on my bed and be absorbed in thoughts and idle silence. Lest boredom wins in our cold war.

So anyways, here are what I did today to irritate my foe -(Boredom)

1. I woke up early and exercised...then had breakfast.


2. I texted all of my friends, hence my phone almost didn't stop beeping


3. I talked to my mother and everyone else in the kitchen as they prepared for lunch. And yes we talked about boys and silly stuffs.


4. washed my clothes after eating my lunch. It took a few while for me to finish and I hurt my hands.. Oh well, maybe it's because of the harsh powdered detergent I used.


5. I went facebook-ing and chatted with my friends. Facebook is a big help. It makes me forget about time.


6. I updated this blog (ooops still updating..)

Time is so precious and it shouldn't be wasted in idleness or inactivity.. So I end this post and off I go to do another thing worthwhile..:)

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Troubled.. Emotionally Ripped off!

I don't know what to write, as I am not composed and I am emotionally ripped off. I have a lot of things on my mind, things I so wanted to share with everyone but I succumbed to the idea that my problems and my worries are all mine to bear. I guess, I could only let you know I'm troubled. I will have to confine myself to my room, cry if I have to but in silence. I know I am supposed to be happy. I should be happy and wear that cheerful smile wherever I go. . But one can't really fake his feelings, well at least for me.. that's what I am.

The most useful things to do now are perhaps to entertain my thoughts and my emotions with other things.. like facebook or some cheap thrills from pc games, or tap my phone and exchange messages with good old friends.. I just love my friends. Their silly messages always make me smile..

I have thought about smoking just for plain curiousity's sake.. Oh the urge to try things that are forbidden or simply just against my principles, they get more intense when I have problems .So these stuffs get on my head. but yeah I won't try these things..

I guess there's a secretive side in me, although I still think I always express my mind. However sometimes silence and just zipping my lips give me a little of that peace I so want although it may wear off and am back drowning in unexplainable dilemma again.

For now I share my feelings, my sentiments, my worries and everything that's bugging my soul to my GOD. HE alone can give me relief, refuge, strength and peace. But I request you to pray for me, even if you don't know me and you don't know what am going through right now. Your prayers can do a lot. Thank you.

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I'm Sick: Call the Doctor Very Quick!

It all started with a sore throat followed by cold hands and feet. It must be due to the hot weather aggravated by the daily brownout, plus my weakened immune system and the fact that I'd stay in the tub for a hour minimum.

Last night, my body gave up. I had runny nose while I watched "The Tooth Fairy" movie. I doubled my daily dose of vitamin C and drank pure lemon extracts before sleeping. I felt the unusual cold temperature in the air conditioned room but didn't shiver. It was tolerable but I knew something was wrong with my body.

This morning I woke up with a bad "cold". Up to now, I have difficulty breathing. My body is aching similar to the one I felt after a vigorous exercise. I think I need a good body massage. I get occasional chills and my voice started to sound hoarse.


I am isolated in my room now. The unwritten rule is that no one should get sick in the house because my sister in law is pregnant and my 5 year old niece has asthma just like me. But since I'm already sick, I have it as a responsibility to be very careful not to spread the disease. As much as possible I don't get near them and make sure I throw tissue papers properly, cover my nose and mouth when I sneeze or cough and make sure I always sanitize my hands with alcohol or just plain water and soap.

Now I'm medicating. I'm on water therapy. I take mega doses of vitamin C. I stay away from sweets, carbohydrates and starchy foods. I eat more fruits and vegetables, trying to eat 3 different kinds of fruits daily. Today I have mangoes, bananas and apples. I need to boost my immune system. I hate getting sick.

Uhmm.. I have to end this post now. I could feel my eyelids dropping. I'm tired and sleepy. 'till next time. Wish me well..

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All Girls' Night Out

Three layers of different pizza flavors.. 1.5 liter of coke, 1 liter of minute-maid, 4 lovely ladies inside out and four joyous spirits... This was the initial mixture of our "all girls' night out".. We went to the best pizza house in town and dined to our mouths delight, laughed like we were strangers to tears and talked like it was our last.

Then the electricity went out. The deafening laughter was abruptly shifted to a sexy yet worried cry of "Aaaah!!!" Luckily the restaurant had electrically charged lamps ready for situations like those. There was a generator however it was only used for the continuous production of pizza in the kitchen. Anyhow, we kept the fun.. enjoyed every bite of pizza under the shying light of the omni rechargeable lamps. But we are sure glad they were invented..lol..

By the way it was my friend's treat in advance for her birthday, which falls today (Happy Birthday Shay!)..

After over feeding ourselves with giant pizzas we headed to a bar in town to choke ourselves with alcohol... Just kidding.. we are not good drinkers... we just fake that we are..heheh

We ordered soft liquor for we know that's what our bodies could tolerate. We first feasted on the colors of the wine, pink, orange, and blueish black.. Then intoxicated ourselves with the invigorating smell, before we savored the taste with our soft red lips, stimulating all our senses..

Not being the type of person who gets intoxicated quickly, the alcohol didn't overpower me. No, I didn't feel my head ache, nor fancied my friends swaying to and fro. I was still in full control of my senses, as we talked, and as I tapped my phone's keypads and sent messages to some friends.

Unlike me, my other friend felt dizzy only after a few sips of "S*x on the Beach" We had to let her drink coffee to subdue the intoxicating effects of alcohol. Our other friend also experienced heart palpitations which prompted her to stop drinking. The Black Russian was too tough for her..

But the birthday girl was the toughest. One drink wasn't enough. She drank the other drinks of my friends. Girl you rock! (halata ra na tanggera..hahahah!)

In the middle of all these drinking and chatting, an accident transpired. A woman on her 30s hit her head on the wooden table with glass on top. The steel connecting her chair were detached, causing her to slam head first to the table at her back before her lower body, butt and pelvic hit the concrete floors. We were all shocked! I saw what happened clearly for I was facing to her direction. It should hurt like hell! Ouch! She didn't stand up quickly after the fall. She seemed at lost but the excruciating pain may be gleaned on her face.

After the moment of shock, my friends and I reacted.. We examined our chairs to make sure we don't end up with the same fate as that of the woman's..

Then we blabbed.. "She can sue the bar for damages.. physical injuries... How about proximate cause?..what if as a result of the incident, she had to buy medicines, consulted a doctor or confined herself to a hospital, or failed to report to work..etc.."

Just imagine the shift from talking about stuffs like boys to getting legal..hahahah!

Oh no, we are no lawyers, but we know a little about Philippine law.. So we continued talking, awakening every emotion our human soul is capable.

Then the clock struck 12 midnight.. It's time for all the cinderellas to leave.. Our prince charming(s) didn't join us that night though..Where could they be? lol..

Back home after all the merry making, I was faced with a problem.. As I undressed I saw red spots on my chest, tummy, back and arms.. The short drinking spree had given me alcohol allergy. Something that hasn't happened to me before.. I took "Virlix" and called it a night and went to a deep slumber.

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Are Men Breast Obsessed?

There is a common notion that men like big breasted women. Hence, the statement “The bigger a woman’s bust, the stronger a man’s lust.”

Photo Credit: Me (of course I made this myself)

While enjoying my grocery shopping, the other day, one big breasted woman passed by me. She must be a cup D or E. How I felt belittled seeing the huge endowment she possessed. Darn am only cup "tot"(ah never mind...hehehe.. )She flaunted her ample cleavage like they were hotcakes for sale. The men all over her went drool at the size of what they saw- a magnificent landscape on sight! There was stillness and silence as if the men were devoured by two very welcoming, definitely non life-threatening enchanted peaks! I was about to tell her “Move away! Hide your mountains before another’s eyes and eyelids stop blinking!” lol... (Though, I hoped they had no thoughts of grabbing what they saw..gosh!)

Are men really breast obsessed? Maybe “breast-obsessed” is too much of a word! One thing is certain though “men like the pleasant sight of breasts before them”. One (because) they don’t have them. Two, they accentuate the difference between men and women. Three, they trigger their sexual fantasies.

Breast size doesn’t really matter to most men. Ten thousands eyes may be cast on bigger boobies, but that doesn’t mean the smaller ones won’t get ten thousand tongue applause too...(oh don’t think naughty now...;))

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I Need to Scream Aloud or Die!

I agonize over every pimple I get these past days, in the same vein as I fret over every frown line I notice on my face. I know am getting older everyday, but to see new pimples all over my face freaks me out. Anxiety over my damned pimples has seized me. I try to comfort myself with made up suppositions like “The pimples will be gone tomorrow.” These are just allergies. Having taken antihistamine, my face will be better tomorrow”. But I am not even an inch close to convincing myself. The next day I wake up with new zits giving me morning pangs of hideous truth right in front of my mirror. What you might mistake here as exaggeration to the point of madness is often called as vanity... but is pleasant to the ears when termed as health consciousness. Lol..

Instead of tossing over tear soaked Kleenex tissue for all of these, I try to ward off the feeling of depression I feel over my seriously affected physical appearance and sex appeal. hahahaha.. Okay let me say the first “eeww” (heightened voice) to the last few words I said..hihihi..

Seriously, I couldn’t bear anymore the hypocritical smiles I imagine from other people. Yes, I am creating my own ghost so to speak. But I need to vent this feeling, scream aloud or I die... (okay, am exaggerating again...:))

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Silly Questions from a Chatmate!

Idle hands are the devil’s handiwork.. Nyay, that doesn’t sound good, so to kill the boredom I felt a few hours ago I logged in to my Yahoo Messenger account and joined “Mindanao Chatroom”. Ironically, instead of meeting chatters from Mindanao, Philippines, I met chatters from India, UK, and USA. There was this one chatter from India who said he was a psychology student. He started to ask questions related sex.. sigh! Most male chatters do.. So anyway, the conversation went this way:

He said: Do you enjoy sex?

I said: (jokingly or was it.. hahhaah.. figure it yourselves) “Yes”

He said: With whom?

I said: With my boyfriend.

He said: Do you do it weekly.. mam.

I said: No.. depending on our mood. How about you?

He said: Yes very much with my aunt..

--- I cried out silently “Incest!” But I was still nice as pie..

I said: What?

He said: Yes, she would call me if she wants to.

--- I needed to get the heck out of this nonsense conversation..

I said: Okay. I have to go. Nice chatting with you.

He said: last question, mam

I said: yes.

He said: why ladies wear bra can’t understand, mam..



--- I laughed... What a silly question!

I said: (Simply I said) hahaha.. bra support our breasts. Otherwise gravity will take its toll on our breasts and they get saggy.. hahahaha..

He said: Its so soft ..mam..

I never replied then..

What a conversation we had! It did kill my boredom at the same made me laugh..hahaha!

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I thought You Were Gay.. I still do think the same way at times

I’m fed up! I just need to get a few things out my head. Otherwise, I would explode.

Seriously, I really thought he was gay and I still think he is gay at times. He is a smart person., a constant honor student and is now an accomplished professional. But we all think of him as gay. He is just soft in his ways.. But my crystal ball is foggy this time so I'd like to keep this "gender issue" ending with a comma, rather than a period.

In the past, he courted me. It’s not that I was spellbound or something but my world seemed to have stopped in shock. Armageddon!!! I knew my subconscious mind echoed to me “Could this be the end of the world?”. In a snap I was back into myself and realized the truth, a ROMEO is expressing his love for me. But only this time, ROMEO is GAY or likely gay! lol..

There was not a chance that we could be lovers. There was no love, no chemistry..Things just didn’t feel right. I likened it to buying lingerie. No matter how beautiful the lingerie is, but when you slip it on, it’s either too loose or too tight. Buying it is just a waste of money.

I’m talking about this thing now because he again reiterated his “love” for me a few days ago (in a jiffy) and dropped the nuclear bomb guy lingo through a cowardly text: "I am in love with you.. Am truly, madly, deeply in love with you."



He also mentioned about “first love never dies” thing. So cliché! I felt like I was opening my history book upon hearing his words. My past just got dug up and I had to re-live in it again...re-enacted the past of saying “NO” to him. I’m sure it hurt him. But the biggest issue really is not about his being gay or gay-ish. It’s more on the genuineness of the intentions. For years we haven't seen each other, and then he came up through text and told me how he much loves me.. In my book, that is so questionable. He couldn't fall in love with me again in a blink of an eye!

Oh well, I just let this roll off my shoulders, and just guess that he could be in his cups, intoxicated and all when he said those words and let karma do its thing.

Note: To the guy, if you read this, please don't get mad at me.. I'm just being true. And I will try not to talk about "love" in my next articles..hehehe..

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You’re married and you want to date me? Are you out of your stupid brains?!

I can’t be a home wrecker and never will I be!

This guy is married and he wants to date me.

The story is simple. We were schoolmates. We casually knew each other, not until we joined the same review class for we were sort of introduced. I paid respect to him by calling him “Sir”. Nothing unusual then, not until I wore a jacket to the review class. He seemed to have a different look at me. We talked and he asked me quite a few things. Since I repeatedly called him “Sir” he again told me to just call him by his first name. That’s odd! He is older than me.. he’s an engineer and all my other friends don’t call him by his first name. A bit suspicious.. I insisted I call him “Kuya ___”, to which he objected but later on didn’t bother at all. So I shook off any bit of inkling I initially had.

On that same day, I was too tired and bored to finish the review class, so I wanted to sneak out. He volunteered to carry my bag for me. The plot was this, I leave the room, carrying nothing, and then he will follow with all my things hidden in his jacket (am not sure if he was wearing a jacket then...) So I successfully left the review class without the lecturer knowing. There were times when he’d treat me for snacks during breaks in our review class. . He did the same thing to his other friends too, I guess.

One weekend, we travelled together back to another city. We boarded the same taxi bound for the terminal. He paid the taxi for both of us. He also paid the fare of the bus for me. I told him I could very well pay for the fare but he insisted. He really seemed like a “Kuya” so I had no suspicion. We talked in the bus about his life but more on his children. We arrived safely and parted ways.

Let’s fast forward this story ... shall we? Let’s get to the meat of this nonsense narration..hehehe.

Last month, he texted me as he was going somewhere. He asked if I have plans of going there too. I said yes but not this time. He said he was going so why not I go too.. I politely responded, it’s not yet time for me to go, besides my finances ain’t enough yet as I am jobless.. To my surprise he said, he would pay the one way fare. Shiver me timbers! Santa Claus came by early! Shocked, I said, no thanks. Going on a trip with a married man is definitely not my cup of tea. Heaven forbids!

Let’s hit the forward button again...

This Valentine ’s Day he greeted me but the word “dear” was added in his message.

I said something like : “please don’t even joke about calling me “dear” because you are married.. what if someone reads your message.. "

to which he responded :“it’s just gonna be the two of us who will know”.

Then he said he wanted to date me this Valentine ’s Day! Things couldn’t be clearer now. Holy. cow! This man is out of his head! Whether his intentions were pure or not, I don’t care. The point is, it’s not right for him to ask me that!

Okay so I said something like: “Sorry, I’m taken”

He said: “So you have a boyfriend”... “Just don’t tell him”

And then he made a last-ditch for the night saying: “Come on, let’s go on a date!”

On Valentine’s Day itself, he asked me out again. I rejected the indecent offer.

After Valentine’s Day he texted me asking if I was still in ______. I said yes, and he said he wanted to date me.

I blatantly said "no .. adding, it’s not right.. what if your wife knows this.. blah blah blah.."

He responded, “she (wife) won’t know am with a beautiful lady”.

I said: "Stop it! I’m taken. Bye.."

This guy is like loose cannon. But I won’t fall in the kind of trench he has prepared. I’m not a home wrecker. Just the thought of dating a married guy is drowning my sanity! .I have no feelings for him! He is married! I’m taken! Let sleeping dogs lie.

I used to see a good man in him. But now I see a treacherous tongue and traitor heart! Worst I see a cheating husband, who sends sweet words to other women and goes home to his wife as if nothing happens. Am glad am not a headless chick that jumps into just about anything. I still have my morals intact. I will not go into a slippery slope like this and entangle myself with a married man, not even in my last hurrah, not even in my death bed. He better sling his hook!

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The World Without Men

Men are complex beings in the kingdom animalia. They are hard to understand, at times stubborn, yet at times submissive. They say men are from mars and women are from venus. Too much for a poetic license... we’re no alien. We’re from earth, where women can’t live without men, and men can’t live without women.

But, woman, imagine the world without men!
Allow my ingenious psyche to set off my tedious imaginations. Bear in mind this is one of the most difficult thing to do in a woman’s existence, for the time being I will be removing all the “HEs” in my life. Imagine how lonely would that be! I’m making this short for it’s like committing suicide!
Okay, here I go. . I’m gathering my full prowess to be able to start my journey to a life without men inside my aching skull and griping heart (i need some pain relievers.. nyah!)..

Without men, there’ll be less war in the world.
Without men, there’ll be fewer crimes.
Without men, our prison cells will be less crowded.
Without men, there’ll be less of those cars, and moving things that men drive that hurt the environment..
Without men, there’ll be less road accidents.
Without men, the car industry, video games industry will die.
Without men, the dictionary will be restructured, dropping the words “he, him, his”, etc.
Without men, Playboy and the porn industry are dead.
Without men, the beauty and fashion industry will collapse.
Without men, what’s the purpose of sexy thongs and lingerie.. victoria’s secret is doomed!
Without men, you’d see ugly women everywhere.
Without men, you’d see lots of fat women everywhere too.
Without men, there’ll be no fathers, brothers, boyfriends and husbands.
Without men, what’s going to happen to sexual congress?
Without men, all women would be lesbians.
Without men, there’ll be no gays.
Without men, what’s going to happen to human proliferation?

... such a forlorn world would that be!
... when this happens, (I dread), am sure to raise my cry to the judges of the world.. a protest with relevance far more than any problem this world has faced.. A world without men.. there is no condition more terrible than this..Let this not happen, lest it be the end of the world, lest it be hell.

The God in the heavens has created such complex creation called “men” to live side by side with “women”. Since time immemorial, men and women have been co existing. Men and women living under one sun is equilibrium. We may sometimes or oftentimes hate the male species, but women we all love our men. We don’t want to live a life without them, don’t we? So to all men, please don’t leave. . .Stay!

Note: Please pardon any grammatical, or typo errors. I write as I think and feel, with less room for proof reading or editing.

This article may not be copied, or published or used in any way without my express permission.

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The Guilt of Hurting Him Over and Over!

He courted me back in high school for over 2 years. Speaking of persistence and patience, this guy has it. He is the perfect example of a person who waits for the sake of what he believed back then as “Love”. He said his “I love You” to me, sent me love letters almost every week, sent me cards, bought me gifts, sent me flowers, etc . He was just sweet. Wherever I was, you will see him. He’d write my notes for me. He’d fetch me in the house after lunch for school and would accompany me back home after school. He was like a shadow. You’d see him if you’d see me.

I was really straightforward with him as well as with my other suitors. I told him I wasn’t ready for love and that I only see him as a friend. Way back then, I never fully understand what love was. All I knew was that I was too young for it. Being the youngest girl in the family, the Class President, and the top contender for the Honours, all eyes were on me. I knew I wasn’t ready and I’ve not yet felt what Juliet might have felt for Romeo. Definitely he wasn’t my Romeo and neither was I his Juliet. But he had the patience, which I may guess had evolved into faith with serene hope that he shall achieve what his heart strived for. He said he was willing to wait until I am ready. But I wasn’t ready for him. He finally gave up after over 2 years of daily courtship. Yes daily! He’d miss boys’ gatherings and barkada gimmicks all because of me. So he gave up accepting rejection. I feel sorry for him. He wasted those two years for someone who didn’t love him back. But I didn’t want to fake my feelings for him out of pity.

Then he found a girlfriend, but not without asking permission from me and consulting me for approval. I felt happy for him for finally he had learned to live his life without me, start anew love story, but this time a happy one. Then our friendship was shattered. He got mad at me and hated me. I couldn’t go into the details why, let’s just leave that part private. So, we parted ways after our graduation with so much bitterness in our hearts. He hated me but I hated him more!

There was no communication between us until I finished college.

Time must have healed the wounds in our hearts for we were able to talk and laugh in our first ever reunion. We recounted the bad times and learnt to forgive and forget. But that get together must have rekindled the forgotten feelings he’s got for me. He started to show interest once more and expressed his desires to start from scratch and woo me again. I didn’t take it seriously yet remained truthful in telling him, we couldn’t be more than friends. I hurt him again!

We exchanged numbers, texted, talked on the phone and remained friends. Then our communication died. Years passed again then we were able to reconnect. Now he remains persistent in his feelings for me. He starts to court me again. A cycle that has its roots back in high school. He keeps calling me, morning, noon, night. I always tell him he’s got not a chance. Every call he makes to express his love for me, he gets my blatant “rejection”. But he is one hard headed stubborn wanting to be my “ROMEO”. His persistence is overwhelming. But it’s not enough to win me! He called the other day asking me to be his date for Valentines Day. He was willing to fly from Manila to where I am just to be with me on that special day. But I told him, I have another date with someone. I knew how it crashed his heart upon hearing it. I hurt him again! Another rejection... which he again accepted. Then he texted me saying “gudnyt t_ _, I love you always. Sori..”

The guilt of hurting this guy hasn’t set in until today as am writing this. Guilt .. because his only mistake was to love me... I feel sorry for him. I truly am..

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Just How Hard it is To Forgive

Do you hate someone? Do you easily forgive the persons who do wrong to you?

Forgiveness is a very common word. When we were kids we often hear our parents talked about forgiveness and that’s basically how we learn to say sorry. But it was easy back then to say sorry and or to forgive. As kids we barely know what hatred is. But now forgiveness is too hard to give, especially when the wrong committed is just too grave, especially when the person who has wronged you is too insensitive to utter the word sorry. The world we live in is an unfair world; people (most) are unfair at each other.

I acknowledge I hate some people. If I don’t acknowledge that fact, I detour around the predicament of forgiveness. I’m not perfect and I’m not too good to not hate. If you tell me you have not hated someone you are a big LIAR. You might want to go to your room for a moment of silence, and ponder, your senses might come back and you realize you are also a hater.

Hate can easily consume us. Hate can easily destroy us. It can assault as every time, any time, anywhere. Hate travels with you, it sleeps with you. And let me guess even in the process of engaging in sexual congress hate may even engross you.. (Hahahaha, am just partly kidding..) Seriously, hate lives immortality even if the object of your hate is buried below the churchyard. Hate may not have the decency, the civility to die even when the hated is dead. That’s how vicious hate is.

Forgiveness is essential to killing hate to a final rest. But like what I said, forgiving is very hard. When hate is planted, revenge is fueled. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Many of us have this unwritten rule “You hurt me! I hurt you back”. Is it innate in human nature to redeem evil by an evil deed of retaliation? Such that when we are hurt the first thing that comes to mind is “revenge”? But when we get our revenge is the hate gone? Are we relieved? Do we even the score? I doubt!

Forgiving is tough. It’s not an easy process, especially when the wound is so deep. I hate some people. I’m battling with it. I must forgive even if no sorry was ever said, even if my blood boils at the very thought and site of my enemy, even if I am not able to get my revenge, even if doing so seems to mean losing. Yes it does seem like you lose the battle and your enemy wins if you forgive. But when you really analyze it, when you forgive you free a prisoner, yourself. When you forgive you win! Forgive to find peace, serenity and happiness. Forgive because you know that’s right.

If you can think of those people who have hurt you and then you can freely exercise the power to wish them well, then forgiveness has begun.

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Orgasmic Thrill Over an iPAD!

Darn it! I want to get myself an iPAD! Can someone get me one?!

I’m experiencing one of those moments in ones life that you feel like dying for something. Aaaaah! I feel like am pregnant woman with special wants that I want to be given to me right this instance. I have morning sickness but one that doesn’t make me puke, but makes my mind twinge morning after morning thinking about it. But who impregnated me? Yay!!! It must be the guy online or that tv man demonstrating the iPAD! Lol..

Seriously I want to get an iPAD! There is no better way to sexily describe my desires for an iPAD than that of an orgasmic thrill..So what’s that orgasmic thrill? Nyahahahha! Don’t let me explain, not now.. maybe later via pm or text..weheheh!

I want an iPAD badly. I have now this moment of excited curiosity and intense longing. I’m savouring every moment of it. The only way I could feed my desire is to think of it and let it happen inside the realms of my head to the edge of illusion. Illusion I willingly enjoy and a deception I believe momentarily. This too shall pass but for now I’m enjoying the thrill and ecstasy of thinking of owning one.. heheh..

Hay, maypa matulog na lang sko .hehhehe..

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Remembering the Past: Senti Mode!

The other day I was feeling bored so to console myself with the boredom I felt I decided to go to the back portion of our house to check on the mini aquarium the family built and to take a peek at my old elementary school which is just at the back of our house. Unfortunately the gate was locked so I couldn't get any closer to my Alma Matter.

Back Gate leading to the Elementary School

mini aquarium

I just had a thorough stare at the surroundings around me and tried recalling some good memories. I remembered there were plenty of trees in this spot before (cacao, guava tree, coconut tree, etc). Kuya and I, together with our friends would then climb the trees to satisfy ourselves with the ripe fruits. It's also the same area where me and my friends and neighbors played. I could still recall how I would climb the guava tree with my high school notebooks with me to study. It was my way of isolating myself from everyone else when I wanted to just bury myself with nothing else but notes and books. On top of the tree, I would lean towards the branch which surprisingly had supported my weight considering it's a guava tree, then I would saturate myself with all my lessons. Memorizing my lessons aloud with the cool breeze blowing and the birds singing.. it was perfect!

At times I would climb trees for the purpose of secretly reading love letters and embroidering my imagination with all my fantasies and dreams. I poisoned myself with so many lies, created my future and a world that was entirely mine, as if I were God, only to get back to reality again when I heard "Nanay or Tatay" call my name.

There was also no back gate at that time. Sometimes, I'd be tasked to bring the "turkeys" and "chickens" to the school grounds to feed on grass. I did all of that, usually after class. Carrying a long stick on one hand and my notes or book on the other hand, I was engaged in multi-tasking then..lol.. Turkeys and chickens move in flocks so it was easy to manage them. I'd sit somewhere not too far from the animals and read my notes... The funny moments though was when the male turkeys would run after me. Their necks would go big and red. I would try to fend them off using a stick but when my efforts are futile, I simply run, with eyes on my back as I murmured my charming yet cowardly chant "sho! sho!" ...

(Sigh!!!) I'm such a miser of all of these memories. Just recalling these things now overwhelms me instantly. I wish there's a time machine that would bring me back to that period. But there ain't one. But the past will never be dead. I will carry it with me. My memory, my very own diary will always remind me of those cherished moments.

(senti mode :))

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Polka Dot Finger Nails (Design)

Yesterday I had fun designing my fingernails. As they say in style you have to swim with the current but in my case I just let my imagination go wild. It is in these things that I exercise freedom in its truest sense. Besides it is in fancy that great styles are crafted and not by mere taste. So if I fancy something, I dig in, without the fear of having to blend. Here take a peek at my newest design- polka dots! I only had my left hand done. My right hand will have a different design too. Anyway, this is soo simple to do.

How I made this nail design? So easy. Just paint your nails according to the color you want, red, pink, blue, yellow, whatever color.. Let it dry first and then use a toothpick or a hair pin to add the dots. Try it. Just remember, the only rule in style and fashion is not to be boring!

Side note: I will be going to Ozamis City later this pm.. I might blog about it too.

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A Case of Mispelled Relationship!

It was a quiz bee competition in high school and I was chosen to represent my section. The questions weren’t as tough as I managed to answer them all correctly. It was almost a sweep. Then I came across the easiest question on spelling. The facilitator asked me to spell the word “relationship”. “So easy, no sweat!” I murmured to myself! Then with confidence overflowing I said “Relationship- R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N- Relationship”. I heard shouts all over, something like “aaah!!” For a while I thought, those were yells of chants of victory from my classmates and hymn of regrets from the supporters of the losing contestants. But then the shouts got louder and the audience got wilder. Some of my classmates and schoolmates were jumping, shouting something I could not fully grasp.(Coaching is not allowed) Even my teachers jumped from their seats. The bell hasn’t signaled the end of the minute to answer so I immediately grabbed the microphone and re-spelled the word, just to make sure I undo any possible mistake. The audience shouted even louder.

Then I said “relationship- R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S- Relationship”!
“Aaaaaah!!!” Those were the response I obtained. Now the audience and the teachers got even wilder. Some were leaping, others were banging and whacking their chairs, while others gestures remained incomprehensible. I couldn’t understand the people in front of me. I didn’t even understand the quiz bee master who’s got this mischievous look on her face. I myself was bewildered. Come on, I couldn’t be wrong with the spelling. It was sooo easy! Then the bell rang. It was over!
The quiz bee master impishly told me “YOU’RE WRONG!”
WHAT? I said. Then she told me how carelessly I spelled the word. I can’t believe it! But that was it! Thank God I was tied with another contestant who also got wrong with the spelling of inauguration. So the tie breaker was still on spelling category. This time I was asked to spell “REINVESTIGATIVE”. And this time I got it right! I even used my fingers in spelling the word just to make I did not stop spelling it too early. heheheh! I bagged home the bacon in short. The misspelled word—IT WAS JUST A CASE OF MISPELLED RELATIONSHIP!:)

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Wrestling with Spiders!

I EXTREMELY hate spiders especially the ones which crawl inside our houses or under our tables and beds acting like members of the household. I ABHOR these creatures! I DESPISE them! You know why, simply because I DON’T LIKE THEM! If I see one just anywhere near me, heavens, you’ll see me dash like am running for my life. Seeing a spider stresses me so much that I won’t go to the bathroom to take a bath if I see one. Over my dead body! Sometimes I get late in school because of this. But I don’t fear getting late more than I fear spiders with their yucky legs and gruesome color, more so if I see a preggy mother spider, with its whitish bulging tummy.

But mind you guyz, I’ve killed a number of spiders, but only the little ones. I kill them before they grow big and threaten my peace. I’ve killed big ones as well but I used the broom or the floor mop so that I’ll be feet away from the spider. Unfair as it may seem but I am an ARACKNOPHOBIC. I have fear of spiders. If I don’t kill them, they would hinder me, paralyze me, incapacitate me even in the simple things. One time, I was studying for an exam and this spider just showed up, I really leaped from my seat traversing into the bed. I was so frightened, or so shocked that I could feel my heart thumping so fast. Unluckily my friend wasn’t able to kill the spider and as a result, I lost my concentration. Although I was studying in my bed, fear still crept to me. I can’t see the spider but I know it’s there and the thought alone is very disturbing.

I’ve tried hard enough I guess to overcome this fear. But try as might, I just can’t like spiders. Its like my mind is willing but my body is weak.I dread spiders and I am merciless in killing them, but yah, I do that distance away. Funny?! Not at all. Every encounter with a spider is like a battle for me. A spider crawling near me or away from me, stationary or moving, hey an aggressor has come lose! I defend myself scarily yet bravely (when am weak then I am strong). With a fast beating heart and reliable military hardware of broomstick or floor mop I combat with the spider whose ultimate weapon is its mind disturbing, fear producing looks.

(Note: I don’t mean to offend animal lovers!)

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