Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Here are some funny thanksgiving quotes, thanksgiving wishes, thanksgiving sayings for everyone!

I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.  ~Arnold Schwarzenegger


I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. ~ Jon Stewart

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” – Jay Leno

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~ Johnny Carson


My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. ~Rita Rudner

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~ Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants. ~Kevin James

We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. ~ George Carlin

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. ~ Nicole Hollander

May your stuffing be tasty, May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy, Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious, And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs! ~ Anonymous